Mother’s Day, Empathy, and the Stories We Carry

Mother’s Day brings a swirl of emotions for many people—joy, gratitude, longing, grief, ambivalence, or sometimes even relief. As a therapist, an immigrant, and a mother to a 10-year-old autistic daughter, I often find myself holding many of these feelings at once.

The Full Spectrum of Motherhood

In my own life, I make space for the whole spectrum of motherhood: the joy and the pain, the boring and the exciting, the struggles and the rewards. My relationship with my own mother is generally loving, but it can also be challenging at times. As an immigrant, I carry the ache of distance and the pressure to honor sacrifices made by those who came before me.

When Mother’s Day Is Complicated

Social media and our broader culture often offer a narrow version of what Mother’s Day should look like—smiling family photos, heartfelt tributes, and picture-perfect celebrations. But for many, this day is complicated. Some have lost mothers, have strained or difficult relationships, or are navigating the grief of infertility or pregnancy loss. Others have chosen a different path, or find themselves in the role of mother through adoption, fostering, or as a chosen family member. Many in LGBTQ+ and multicultural families are forging their own definitions of kinship and care.

Honoring Every Journey

In my practice, I see clients who are mothers, those who long to be, and those who have chosen not to be. I honor all of these stories. I recognize that for some, Mother’s Day is a celebration—and for others, it is a day best navigated quietly, or not at all.

If you feel pressure to perform or conform to an idealized version of motherhood this weekend, I invite you to step back and check in with yourself. Maybe you want to celebrate, reach out, or honor someone important. Maybe you need solitude or a break from the noise. Maybe your feelings are mixed or even conflicting. That’s okay. Congruence means making space for all parts of your experience—gratitude and grief, relief and longing, love and pain. You don’t have to choose one over the other. Congruence is about accepting all parts, honoring them, and making your experience whole and integrated.

Empathy for Ourselves and Each Other

Empathy, for me, is not just about understanding others—it’s about turning that same gentleness inward, especially on days when the world tells us how we should feel. It’s about honoring our complex, imperfect, beautiful stories as daughters, mothers, and people.

If reading about Mother’s Day is too much right now, or if you need to avoid these conversations for your own well-being, that’s valid too. Take care of yourself in whatever way feels right for you.

For more perspectives on mental health throughout the year, you can also visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) blog.

To everyone navigating this day—whatever your story—may you find space for your truth, and may you know you are not alone.

A Note from Irene:

If you’re struggling this Mother’s Day, know that you’re not alone. Your feelings—whatever they are—are valid and worthy of compassion. I hope you give yourself permission to honor your own story.

About the Author
Irene L. Velasco is a licensed therapist and author based in Vallejo, CA, specializing in identity, life transitions, and supporting clients from multicultural backgrounds. As both a clinician and a mother, Irene is passionate about empathy, cultural humility, and creating safe spaces for healing and authentic connection.